Sorry I haven’t been around. Both boys have been sick, I had a little operation (and I stress the word little) and then my DH cut his hand open in a ‘dangerous’ workplace accident (He cut it on a rogue lid from a tin of tuna while taking out the rubbish..). He has four stitches, I have three (and yes, he thinks that means he’s much more wounded and in need of TLC than I am) and the boys have had enough snotty noses to solve the petrol crisis if someone could just figure out a way to convert snot into a source of fuel….
All this has meant that between all of this, there’s not been much time for the computer – well not much time for anything really…but now, thankfully it seems we’ve got our groove back. Phew. Now just have to vacuum, sweep, mop, tame the dishes, the piles of clothes that need washing, folding, putting away etc etc….I’d much rather be here. Updating.
First thing, and I’m not sure how this will work, but I’m moving away from our ‘real names’ in the blog as of today. Why? Recently, I followed a news story of 18 month old twins who starved to death in their Brisbane home. Aside from the obvious tragedy involved and the questions it raises about our sense of community (Why didn’t anyone know? Why didn’t someone do something earlier? – All easy questions to ask in hindsight.), I was concerned, no disgusted, about the fact that the media found Internet posts made by the mother and chose to make those public as a way of explaining what had happened. I’m not sure why this concerned me, but it did. It just seemed like a gross invasion of privacy. Does a mother who starves her own children deserve privacy? I’m not sure. But I do know that unscrupulous current affairs programs jumped to all sorts of unfounded conclusions based on a few comments made by the mother in an Internet chat room over a year ago…. So, just in case we, for whatever reason, are deemed ‘newsworthy’ for 5 minutes, I’d prefer to at least create some sort of illusion of anonymity, as I know other bloggers do. Paranoid? Possibly. What do you think?
From here on in, my lovely 3 year old son with cerebral palsy will go by the alias BC – short for big chicken which is his loving nickname, borne from the fact that English is not my husband’s first language. I used to always call BC my munchkin. My husband, not quite grasping the word, began to call him ‘mun chicken’. From mun chicken, he became chicken…and once he became a big brother, yes, he became the ‘big chicken’. So there you go.
As for my crazy little 15 month old (currently running me ragged as I learn just HOW mobile a typically developing 1 year old can be), he’s always been our little bean, because he is a little bean. So, we’ll just stick to Bean for him. I’m not sure why, but it suits him almost more than his actual name ;-).
OK, that’s done. On to a little news!
On Friday when I dropped BC off at childcare there were a stack of papers waiting for me in his pigeon hole. It looked like they were all overdue payment notices so I shoved them all in my bag and forgot about them until this morning. And there, amongst all the overdue notices (which I really will pay, soon) is an INVITATION. An invitation to a party. For BC. From one of his little kinder friends. I read it once. Read it again. And then I cried. I know that sounds pathetic, and it probably is, but it just filled me with emotion that BC was invited by one of his peers to a party. It doesn’t matter that all the kids in the kinder room were probably invited. What matters is that HE wasn’t excluded. This mother didn’t think it would be too difficult to have a special needs kid at a birthday party.
I want to call the mother and thank her effusively. I want to find this kid (I don’t actually know which one he is) and give him a huge hug. I want us to buy him a big, expensive birthday present.
And then I realise, it’s dumb that I want to do these things. This is much more about me, than it is about the child, or the child’s mother. It’s about my concerns that I’ve long had (and I’m sure many other parents have) about my child being excluded. About other kids not looking past the disability and seeing the gorgeous boy that he is. About the parents being too worried about how difficult it will be to have him at a party. These are MY projected fears, my issues. And now that he HAS been invited, it’s about me too. MY huge rush of relief, my happiness that he is being appreciated by other kids and acknowledged by their parents. I know this is a huge shift to make all based on one tiny little invitation, but in fact, I don’t think it matters if he doesn’t get invited to another party all year. He is only 3 after all, and one invite is good enough for me.
BUT on to more practical issues, I know nothing about the protocol of four year old birthday parties. Do the mums stay or do I just drop him off? How much money is usual to spend on a present? Does this mean that if we accept we’ll definitely need to hold our own fourth birthday party later in the year to reciprocate the offer? Oh….so many questions ;-).
For now, though, I just need to figure out what to say in the RSVP phone call. I want to stop myself from gushing and from saying something dumb. I don’t want my son to be the one who doesn’t get invited to any more parties because word gets around that the kid is great, but his mum is off the wall…. ;-).
More soon. Have a nice weekend!