Phew....and AAAHHGGG!

I had my appointment with the specialist this morning to get the results of the biopsies done on the lumps in my breast.

I’ve been doing my best not to think about it all much, wanting to avoid any further panic attacks AND I’d done a pretty good job. So I arrived at the appointment feeling very relaxed and confident and prepared for anything.

The doctor, who I’ve now seen on several occasions is a lovely guy with a generally very good manner.

However, today he seemed a little aloof. He asked me how the biopsy had gone (a weird question I thought) and I told him that they’d had a little trouble locating the lumps, to which he replied ‘Well, they certainly found something’…..

He then proceeded to look through his notes for what seemed like forever (but was probably all of 30 seconds) before he said anything further – long enough for me to be totally freaked out and convinced I was about to hear a very negative prognosis.

BUT when he finally spoke it was to say that they were in fact ‘lactating adenomas’, benign as he had predicted and nothing to really worry about.

That’s the PHEW!!! I can’t tell you how relieved I was!!

BUT I went home feeling quite angry with him for his manner, for not having come straight out and told me what he knew. I was already mentally planning a blog post about doctors who think they are on reality TV shows and need to draw out the suspense…I was also mentally composing a letter of complaint.

However, it all makes sense now and the doctor is totally off the hook.

This evening, I was clearing old messages from the answering machine and there, crisp and clear from last THURSDAY was a brief message from the doctor confirming that the lumps were indeed benign and that I could give him a call rather than coming in for the appointment.

LAST THURSDAY.

My usually on the ball DH had heard the message, not really paid any attention to the content and COMPLTELY forgotten to tell me.

AAAHHHGGG!!

In my husband’s defence, this particular doctor refers to himself as ‘Mr’ instead of ‘Dr’ and as English is not my husband’s first language, he tends to gloss over calls when there’s technical or medical type jargon involved. AND we do get our fair share of calls from specialists/therapists etc with an array of messages regarding appointments/results etc with relation to BC that are generally my domain and which he doesn’t bother much with (which is fine with me).

BUT still AAAHHHGGG!

It totally explains why this doctor was a bit weird today – probably trying to figure out why on earth I was there at all given that he’d left a message saying I needn’t come in. And of course he was blase about the results – he’d assumed I already had them….

My husband apologised, but was for the most part unrepentant saying that I shouldn’t have worried anyway until AFTER I had any results and been told there WAS something to worry about – it’s a good point, I know, but still. I will be checking the answering machine VERY regularly from now on!

And I am relieved, very relieved. And very grateful that I have nothing more to worry about than a husband who can be a little vague about passing on messages. In the bigger scheme of things, that’s not such a terrible thing .