Phew, exhausted.
We’ve had a busy weekend of kiddy birthday parties.
It’s very special to me that BC is getting invited to birthday parties. I cried when he got his first party invite last year. I don’t know why it matters, but it does. It’s not that I think he needs to be wildly popular, but I hate the thought of him being excluded from events because parents might think it could be a challenge to have him there or because his peers didn’t want him around.
So I was happy that he received a couple of birthday invites.
And BC was thrilled.
Yesterday afternoon’s party was a lot of fun. BC had a ball.
But.
It was at McDonalds. Not so much a problem in itself (although I am not a McDonalds fan, that’s for sure).
The problem started with the indoor play area which was pretty much impossible for BC to navigate on his own, but which, of course, was where all the other kids were playing.
So, while the other mums were sipping lattes and chatting, I was clambering through the play equipment with all the kids.
BC had a blast, and I didn’t really mind being up there. It was kind of fun.
The problem was when I got back down and the kids were all eating their food. I joked to one of the mums that I always spend most of a kid’s party half way up the play equipment.
Joked. My point was, it’s funny.
Her reply, shaking her head, unsmiling “It must be so hard”.
The other two mums standing next to her nodded along grimly.
Sigh.
And no, I didn’t reply.
They’d so missed the point.
It’s not hard for me scrambling up play equipment instead of sitting and chatting with the other parents. Well, at least it’s not hard for me anymore. I’m used to that. And I like playing with BC. He’s fun.
What is hard for me is comments like that.
I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me! I don’t want them to feel sorry for BC or think he’s a burden in any way.
I want them to joke with me about being the biggest kid on the play equipment or to laugh and say they wish they had an excuse to get up there and play.
I guess I just want what is normal for me to be normal for them.
And just to show how hard it isn’t, today’s party was at a hardcore indoor play centre where the play area looks like this:
It’s not the best photo, but I forgot to take my camera. This is from their website. There are about 4 levels of crawling, climbing and clambering to explore. And after me going through the levels all the way to the top with BC three times, he did it TOTALLY on his own twice – pulling himself up high steps, climbing through tunnels, clambering over partitions that were nearly as tall as him, and finally, going down a steep slide.
Sure, it took him a long time but the other kids from the party waved and smiled and chatted with him as they whizzed past. He had a ball. And I had a ball watching him.
And it wasn’t hard. It so, so, so wasn’t hard.
It was exciting and amazing and fun and I couldn’t believe he had the confidence, the strength, the balance and the persistence to do it on his own.
So happy birthday to BC’s little friends and thanks for the great weekend BC. You can be my play date any day 
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Those poor women don’t know what they are missing. I feel sorry for them. They are reveling at their own freedom from their children. One day, soon I expect, you will be reveling at BC’s independence on the play equipment. So sad they do not understand.
I get what you’re saying. We get the same thing with Isla.
Sometimes I think people just think they’ll say the wrong thing, so they say something “safe” if that makes sense?
Doesn’t make it any less frustrating though.
Glad you guys had a great time!
Dianne, How sad of these women to be so narrow minded!
With Violet, even though she has challenges in her life, she has taught me so much about life that I would never have known or learnt without her!
Yeah, aren’t those soft-paly places great? I love them. Can’t believe those other mums don’t climb them too. I do miss having a chat, would love to catch up on some goss while on the top level, or heading down the slide. But nah, they just sit on the sidelines.
Dianne,
What’s normal for us, won’t be normal for other people who don’t understand.
Here, they’ll normally say, “Kasihan dia (I feel sorry for her)”. Something that I don’t really like to hear. But I guess they just don’t know how to throw the right words at the right time.
I can relate to what you are saying. I had a little old lady say to me “such a burden for you” – lucky she was a little old lady so she got a polite answer, but it made me really mad! She’s my daughter and she is NOT a burden!
Great that BC navigated the entire thing on his own though!
Thanks for all the lovely comments!
Alison, I can’t believe that comment you got – boo!!
Suealeen – I know all about the ‘kasihan dia’ – I hear that a lot when we visit family in the kampung!
Heike, yep. Love those play centres. But also love to get there early. They can be downright scary when they’re packed full of kids!
Sarah, you’re so right. BC has taught me so much too.
Barbara, thanks for your kind words.
And Ally, yes – I am totally sure you are right. I don’t doubt that the mum in question had the best intentions. She’s actually really lovely. But it’s just a shame that is what someone considers a ‘safe’ comment. I just wish she could see what I could see
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