I caught up with a good friend a few days ago who I like a lot. He doesn’t have any children. He’s a great guy and we enjoy spending time with him, but sometimes, he just doesn’t get it.
We were in a park, and BC was walking with us (in his walker) along a path looking at the flowers, the lake, the swans, the ducks – occasionally stopping to point something out to me.
I was having a lovely time. A very pleasant stroll in a beautiful park with my children and a good friend.
Then my friend said with a laugh, looking at BC – “He’s just like one of those old men with their walking frames, isn’t he? Hobbling along in a frame looking at everything and boring people by showing them every little thing he sees”.
I smiled and shrugged, because I don’t much like a conflict, especially when I’ve been having such a nice day.
But I’ve been stewing on the comment ever since. And getting more and more annoyed. I wasn’t bored. I loved that BC was showing me things. And hobbling along like an old man? Really? Is that how he sees my son? Is that how others see my son in his walker?
What should I have done? Is there something I could have said that would have expressed my dismay at his comment without sounding rude? Or doesn’t it matter if I sound rude?
It’s not the first time that I’ve been with someone who TRIES to get it, but doesn’t and I really find these sorts of situations confusing and frustrating. I don’t want to sound oversensitive and I don’t want to sour a pleasant moment or spoil a day out with friends (or worse a valued friendship!), but at the same time, I want my friends to know when they’ve got it wrong.
Any words of wisdom on this fine line?
