kite flying (and a belated happy birthday BC)

9 Nov

It was BC’s birthday over a month ago now. I have been wanting to write something about his birthday since then, but every time I try, I can’t. It’s just too hard.

I want to celebrate that day for what it was – the birth day of my beautiful first born son. However, at the same time I don’t want to go back to that time and place. That night when I should have been holding a squealing bundle of healthy baby but instead I was watching others trying frantically to bring life back into his body at the other end of the room. I couldn’t even see him. And then, seeing him drugged, hidden behind tubes and wires in a monstrous humidicrib being prepared to be taken to another hospital, miles away from me where they would do their best to save his life.

satria-day-2-of-life

It still makes me cry to see this photo. But it also fills me with a kind of awe that he’s come so far since then. And in the four years since he was born, there hasn’t been one day where I’ve felt the same kind of fear and dread as I did that day. I knew from the moment I held his hand the next day that he was going to survive AND that he was going to thrive. And he has.

For his fourth birthday, he received a kite from his Pop. Fortunately for him, his dad turns out to be a real super whizz kite flyer. So we spent his fourth birthday kite flying in the park. Here’s a video and from me, a very very (belated) Happy Birthday wish to my beautiful boy. Love you always xo

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3 Responses to “kite flying (and a belated happy birthday BC)”

  1. Barbara November 9, 2008 at 5:32 pm #

    GREAT video! He walks really well! Nice tribute, too. I’m sure other mothers will appreciate and relate to your feelings.

  2. n0thingbuteverything November 9, 2008 at 8:51 pm #

    Thanks Barbara ;-). Your thoughts, as always, are appreciated!

  3. Ellen November 10, 2008 at 8:03 pm #

    Oh, that is such a sweet video, totally made my day. I know exactly what you mean about how sobering birthdays are. I have a similar shot–in a photo and in my hed–of Max in the ICU. And it’s good that you can focus on how far BC has come, that’s what matters most. BC reminds me of Max in that walker, it really helped him learn how to use his legs. He used to speed around our neighborhood in it and all the other kids were jealous because they wanted to try it!

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