The right thing to say

I never know the right thing to say in an awkward situation, or when someone is upset, has had some bad news or is feeling low. I always want to say something, because I really would like to help in some way. But it’s hard to get it just right.

I remember after BC was born. Lots of people tried to say the right thing while he was in hospital, clinging on to life and desperately ill. A lot of people expressed sympathy. I know they meant well, and I was grateful that they were thinking of us, but I didn’t want sympathy. My baby was not dead and he was not going to die. I wanted positive, affirming messages.

I mention this now, because I have been a bit low lately (hence no posts) I have been feeling a little overwhelmed and lacking motivation and energy. I don’t really know why. It might be because I am still upset about the visa not being granted, it might be because the season is changing and it’s getting cold. It might be because it’s the middle of the year and I’m tired. Or it might be because I’m going to get my period for the first time in nearly 2 years. Who knows. What I do know though, is that I’ve told several people and just one of them found the ‘right thing to say’.

I told her that I was feeling a little overwhelmed by everything I need to do for BC and that I was feeling a little sad about how slow progress was with his speech. She responded by saying: “However long it takes BC, he’s an amazing little man. He just looks like he’s here to spread happiness in the world!”

She has never met BC. In fact, I have never met her. She’s a friend I’ve met through an online group totally unrelated to disability issues. I don’t know why her comment really hit the button, but gee, at the moment I read her email, it was just the perfect thing I needed to hear. And I am starting to feel better already.

I promise more regular posts.

About these ads